A BFF IN NEED IS A BFF INDEED

So Paris Hilton is narrowing down the field in her search for a new BFF. I have to admit, and I don't think this is simply an age-difference thing - but isn't that last "F" in "BFF" supposed to mean "forever"?
And didn't she just pick a BFF a year or so ago? I know the English language is constantly changing, but I'd think forever should mean considerably more than a year or so.
Now, I haven't watched the new season. I didn't watch the first season, except for the thrilling climax. And, I'm sure half the nation was tuned in and turned on for that. But my guess would be that there would hardly be anyone who'd want to sign up to be a short term BFF. Imagine the humiliation of being dumped by Paris Hilton.
Now, of course, I may be overlooking some important factors. It could be, and I believe this is totally possible, just from watching Ms. Hilton on TV, it could be that she's just so deep and profound, that even being her Best Friend Forever for a week or so would be too mentally challenging to miss the chance to be selected by her.
I would love to just sit and pick that girl's brain some day. She's definitely got some gray matter, I'm guessing.
And, you know what? I think she might find me equally mentally stimulating. I mean those of you who know me, know how much I enjoy deep, thoughtful discussions on such things as why weathermen never get it right. Or, why apparently sane people continue going back to Food Lion. Or how the gas stations are clever enough to make you think $2.50 a gallon is a great deal.
Paris and I could share a few laughs over that one, I'd think. I believe that I should have applied for the position.
I can just see the two of us jetting across the globe, discussing the McNeil Lehrer report and trying to figure out which one is dead. I used to have the same problem with Huntley and Brinkley until they were both dead. That helped a lot.
Some people would scoff to think that two people who, on the surface, are so different, as Paris and I, could have become BFFs. "She just wants you for your looks," some would suggest. But I think not.
I think we could make quite a team. For instance, I could regale her with the fact that two of my favorite TV shows are Mental and the Mentalist. "That's so ironic," she would laugh.
To which I would respond, "I never knew just what ironic meant, but I think you're right."
We could discuss fashion trends. I would ask her to critique my choice of plaid polyester pants delightfully paired with a black and white flannel shirt. "How do you like my sandals and black knee-high support socks," I would ask her sincerely.
"Couldn't you just get lost in my eyes?" she would respond in great depth.
I know I'm getting on a tangent here. I'll try and control myself. Actually this blog is going in an entirely different direction than what I had anticipated when I began.
But, now that I think of it. I believe Paris Hilton could truly be my BFF. That is until I decided to dump her.