DON'T YOU JUST LOVE CUSTOMER SERVICE?

I'm just sitting here by the computer, so I figured I may as well write a blog. I'm on the line with a customer service guy from Comcast's help desk. So, as you know, I'm going to be awhile.

I stopped by my mother's house (bless her heart) because her phone, I assumed, was off the hook. No such luck. There was a big problem. At least that's what the guy is telling me.

He, the phone guy, seems utterly at a loss to understand. He's had me pulling plugs and resetting buttons for about a half hour. When I tell him that we still didn't have service, he just sighs. I think I hear him weeping. I get the impression he's never encountered a phone problem before.

Finally, after a series of tests he runs from there (ain't technology wonderful),he tells me that this problem is so bad, he's going to have to call someone at the phone company.

"Aren't you the phone company?" I ask him, politely.

"No, I mean, someone from the, uh, the, um, oh what do you call them?" he asks me.
"The service department?" I suggest.

"Kind of. Oh, let me think. Um, er, uh, oh yeah, the troubleshooting people."

Sounds good to me. He's going to call the troubleshooters. So, he puts me on hold. Finally after about ten minutes, he comes back on the line. "This is a big problem. I can't even explain it," he explains. "We're going to have to call you back."

So, anyway, I wait about a half an hour and my cell phone rings. I answer.

"Hello, Mrs. Ford?" the voice asks.

"No," I reply honestly.

"Are you sure, you're not Mrs. Ford?" the man asks as if maybe I have forgotten.

"Never have been," I say. I think that's a cute way of putting it. "Who are you?"

"I'm the guy from Comcast," the guy from Comcast says. "I got mixed up on who I was calling."

"I bet that happens a lot," I say to him pleasantly.

"Hold on a minute," he says nicely. "I have to figure out who I'm talking to."

"I can tell you that," I offer. "The name is Cook."

"Okay, hold on," he says. "Let me verify that."

Finally after about five minutes, he comes back on. "Is this Cook?" he asks.

"No, I'm Mrs. Ford," I say. I quickly tell him I'm joking, because I'm not sure the guy can handle the pressure.

"Well, Mr. Cook," he says, "this is a big, big problem. I've never seen it before."

"Wow, we feel special," I say.

"Our modems never cause us any problems," he assures me. "But yours has gone retrograde on us."

"Don't you hate it when that happens?" I ask. I really want to know.

"We're going to, er, have to , um, you know, get someone from, the er,..."

"Troubleshooting department?" I offer.

"Yeah, but the guys in trucks. What do you call them?" He is very nice.

"The mobile troubleshooting department?" I'm full of good ideas for names of departments.

"Yeah, maybe," he says. "Anyway, I grabbed the first open appointment. They can come on the 26th."

"You mean tomorrow?" I ask.

"Hold on," he asks, politely. "Let me see. Okay, today is the 25th, so that means that, er, um, the 26th, would be, well, it would be tomorrow."

"Can you make it any sooner?" I ask. "My mother is 85 and has heart problems." Once in awhile I actually tell the truth.

"Oh gee, I don't, er, I'm not, well, hold on."

"Okay," I say. I'm also polite. I think that's when I started writing this.

Anyway after a minute he comes back on. "Okay, Mrs. Ford," he says.

"No, Cook," I say.

"Oh yeah, Mrs. Cook..."

"No, Mr. Cook, but you can call me Steve." I am very polite

"Well," he says, "someone will have to be there all day."

"Tomorrow?" I ask

"No, today, but let me recommend that for only four dollars a month, your mother can get the WPS. I think that would be good." He is trying.

"Good for her heart?" I ask.

"No, it's a wire protection service. It's in case the wires go bad," he continues.

Before I can ask what that has to do with anything, he adds, "Of course, that's not the problem this time."

"I think my mother already has WPS," I say.

"Is that a heart condition?" he asks.

"No, it's wire protection service," I inform him.

"Yeah, that would be good. Let me confirm that..."

Anyway to make a long story short, I think he's going to send someone from the troubleshooting on wheels department to come out today. Or else, they're going to Mrs. Ford's.