IF YOU'RE LAUGHING OUT LOUD, YOU NEED HELP.

I'm not sure who started it. But, I'd love to find out, and then beat them mercilessly about the head and face. I am, of course, talking about the originator of that now famous expression, "LOL!" I hate it. Honest, I do. Please, I beg anyone who ever writes to me, comments on my Facebook, or engages in any social interaction with me, DON'T SAY "LOL," or "ROFL," which is even worse, or the granddaddy of them all, please never, ever say, "ROFLMAO." Eeeek, that one gives me the shivers.

I'm sure I've already ticked at least one someone off. But, please believe me, I'm trying to help you. I'm trying to save you from yourself. Let me try and put this as delicately as I can. Saying LOL is tantamount to admitting that you're a complete idiot with a vocabulary of a first grader (my apologies to many of your first graders).

Think about it. What does it mean? Laugh(ing) out loud. Oh really. So, you're sitting there, brilliantly commenting on what a text mate or a Facebook friend has said and you're truly laughing out loud? Really? And, pray tell me, just what are you laughing out loud about? 

Most people, I think, if I'm reading them correctly, are saying they LOLing about their own comment. Occasionally, one will simply respond to something someone else has said with an "LOL." That's not too bad, if, indeed, you truly are laughing out loud.

But, more often than not, the ubiquitous LOL will be used somewhat like this: I'll write, "I'm working hard today."

Then Mr. or Ms. Laugh Factory will respond, "Working hard or hardly working? LOL" Are you really laughing out loud at your clever retort?  Because, if so, what we probably have going on here is some sort of bipolar thing. I mean who, really, sits around by themselves, just them and their keyboard, and laughs out loud?

So, unless you really are laughing out loud, don't say it. If you don't think the recipient of your LOL humor is smart enough to know you're joking, then just don't joke with him or her. LOL is kind of like the cyber version of those old TV show laugh tracks.  

It evidently is used as some sort of primal pump to encourage the person with whom you're having some sort of online communication to start laughing.  Let me give you a little tip on humor. If you have to tell someone to laugh, or if you have to laugh to get them laughing at something you've said, you're not the least bit funny.

Gee, I feel so good, just getting this off my chest. It's something I've been wanting to say for so long, but I have been afraid of alienating friends. But, hey, who cares? Not me. 

Now, on occasion, you may worry that the person with whom they're chatting may think you're being serious and you need to warn them that you're not. For instance, suppose someone says something that is a bit of a put down, so you cleverly reply, "Yeah, and your mother wears army boots." And then you get to thinking that maybe they'll really believe that you think their mother wears army boots. And, truth is, you really don't want to cause them any lasting emotional harm, so you'll quickly add, "LOL." And, you'll feel much better.

I'm not an unfeeling person. I can understand that. So, here's my suggestion. If you're using LOL when what you're really trying to say is, "Hey, that is an example of my biting sarcasm," then wouldn't it be better to do something like this:

Your chat partner says, "I'm feeling pretty good today."

And, you, with that quick wit of yours, say, "What? Are you pretty and good?"

Don't add LOL. It would be much better to add "BS" 

Of course, one caveat here to finish things up.  If you are exceptionally clever and spend your day communicating your biting sarcasm to any and all comers, you had better watch out. It could be that your chat messages will be full of BS. LOL.